The Seasons Within Us: What Nature's Cycles Teach Us About Anxiety, Rest, and Change

You've always found change hard. You don't know what's coming and you aren't sure if you'll be able to handle whatever it is. It's so much easier to keep things how they are and not cause any trouble. Yet no matter how hard you try, circumstances change, people change, your emotions go up and down, and you just can't settle in. You feel pressure to keep up with everyone around you and take advantage of every opportunity offered to you.

Much of life is like the seasons of the year, and there's a lot we can learn from the rhythms of the natural world to help us accept what is, while also being able to move forward. We don't have to stay stuck and we're actually not meant to stand still. Just as the natural world moves through predictable cycles of growth, dormancy, activity, and release, so do our nervous systems, our relationships, and our identities.

Modern life sometimes makes it feel like we have to stay in "spring" and "summer" modes all the time, with constant activity and growth. But the natural order of things is to alternate growth with stability and activity with rest.

The Four Seasons of Growth, Rest, and Everything in Between

Each of the seasons of the year can be tied to cycles of our lives, not necessarily in order, but definitely cycling over and over. This goes beyond the old metaphors of birth in the spring, summer as our youth, fall representing middle-age, and winter being old age and death. Let's look at the seasons in a new way, one that helps us understand and accept the benefits and even the necessity of different seasons of our lives.

When we are in a season of growth and newness, it is spring-like, when the lessons we have learned help us plant ourselves in new places. Summer is when we reap the benefits of that growth, enjoying an abundance of time (if you are lucky), light, plants that give us food, and hopefully beautiful weather that allows us to be outdoors. Fall represents a transition. We still reap the harvest of summer as we wind down and start to prepare for the winter. The old logs that lay on the forest floor begin to decompose, providing a foundation for new life next year. And winter, when the plants die or go dormant and the animals go into hibernation, is a time of rest, just as it is a time for our nervous system to reset.

You know the sense of relief that comes from a thorough soaking rain after a hot, dry spell? This is what the changing seasons bring us. While we might love the sun and never want it to end, we need the rain to replenish us. Or you might be someone who relishes the winter, cozying up, staying warm under the covers, but when you emerge in the spring you feel energized in a surprising way.

You will go through different seasons…we all do. You will be nervous about having difficult conversations or making a big change, but one day you'll realize that you did the thing and everything is still okay. You will be sad about something, maybe even for a long time. And one day something will spark your joy or urge you to make a connection and you will begin to feel something different. Whatever the feeling is, it will change eventually, just like the seasons end and circle back around.

Letting Your Nervous System Complete the Cycle

When you're anxious, you may dread the coming of another season, of changing emotions and unpredictability. But your nervous system needs full cycles, not constant activation or constant rest. So when you feel nervous or worried, you can let yourself feel that anxiety, and your body will naturally move through the cycle of fight or flight to a state of rest.

We can also learn from the way we respond to changing seasons of the year. What do the seasons signal? The animals and the plants seem to know, adjusting to the changes naturally. In theory we should too. But we are so accustomed to homes that shelter us and keep us comfortable in all sorts of weather, devices that give us access to different places and times, and grocery stores that allow us to find the food we want even if it is out of season. For humans, evolved as we are, it often takes a shift in mindset to allow natural rhythms into our lives, such as eating what is in season, ramping up and slowing down our activities, and allowing ourselves to feel and accept the emotions that cycle through our nervous systems.

Permission to Rest: Boundaries for People-Pleasers and Perfectionists

For the people-pleasers, the seasons can remind us of the boundaries we need to maintain. As the plants die back to protect their roots during the winter, maybe you need to say "no" so that you can protect your energy when you've done too much. These boundaries are about survival, not selfishness. And for the perfectionist, you can look around and see that nothing in nature is productive year-round. You’re not "lazy" for resting. It's about recognizing limits and balance.

How Your Relationships Change Seasons, Too

The wisdom of the seasons can be seen in your relationships as well. Different times of your life call for different needs from relationships. Right now you might need support as you go through a difficult time, but next week you might be looking for someone to have fun with. Your romantic relationship started out as truly "romantic" and adventurous, but now you find yourselves yearning for some stability and stillness. Your roles change, as well. As a child, you may go from being doted upon and taught by your parents to having more of a friendship with them, and ultimately end up in the role of a caregiver. Similarly, at different times in your life you might focus more on yourself, on a partner or friends, on children, and then back on yourself. These are natural progressions in your development.

Work with a Therapist in Missoula, MT to Navigate Life's Seasons

As a therapist in Missoula, MT, I work with clients to get through the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the different seasons of their lives. I have clients who feel pressure to fit everything in, to get it all done while it's still summer. They lament the end of summer (or winter, if we have enough snow for skiing). But as they learn to let go of the one season, the next one brings something else with it. They learn that it's okay to slow down after a fun-packed summer. They know that newness and growth are uncomfortable, but that it often results in changes for the better.

I work with millennials who are navigating social expectations, balancing different roles, and the "always-on" identity. I work with people who get lost in the shuffle, putting others before themselves and trying to do everything just right. I provide in-person and online counseling and incorporate metaphors from nature to help you learn new skills for getting through the ups and downs of life and your emotions. I also provide nature-based therapy when appropriate and beneficial, using nature to help clients regulate and become more present, as well as connecting to the lessons that nature has to teach us.

If this post has something in it you needed to hear and you're ready to make a change, reach out to me at (406) 924-3445 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. We'll talk about what you're looking for help with and what kind of support I may be able to provide.